Don’t expect to read anything of actual intelligence in this post. I am just confused. This could also be titled: Speed-running My Descent Into Madness
August 19, 2026
A Timeline of Events
Saturday, November 29th, 2025
I am blissfully unaware of Heated Rivalry’s existence. I don’t have a clue in the f*cking world that this show or these characters exist. Which isn’t surprising, considering how notoriously bad I am at consuming new non-music-related media.
Thursday, January 8th, 2026
By now, I’ve seen dozens of extremely heated (pun intended, obviously) TikTok edits of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander.
I’ve seen that transition scene more times than I’ve seen my own family.
I’ve heard All The Things She Said enough times to send me on my third deep nostalgia spiral of the New Year. (Doesn’t take much for me.)
I have not seen Yuna yet, but I know she’s Shane’s mom and that she does not play about his brand deals and sponsorships, based on various TikTok skits I can’t fully comprehend because I haven’t watched the show.
I know that Shane is autistic and has had Ilya metaphorically crying and throwing up after dating a woman in episode 4.
And worst of all, I know that, “HE’S COMING TO THE COTTAGE! HE’S GOING TO THE COTTAGE!” But unfortunately, I have no idea what the significance of that is, and I am a little jealous of those who do.
Sunday, January 11th, 2026
The Golden Globes.
I don’t watch them – I never watch non-music-related award shows. But I do enjoy scrolling through Twitter and seeing them unfold through the timeline.
And this time, my timeline is flooded with the two beautiful men from Heated Rivalry.
Somehow, I find myself giggling as I watch one of them condemn AI to Hell and flip the glam bot off.
The fast-growing seed of absolute endearment has been planted.
Monday, January 12th, 2026
For a week straight, it’s just constant torment.
TikTok and Twitter demand that I see or hear about Ilya and Shane or Connor and Hudson at all times.
The algorithm gives Hudson full custody of me for now, and that means constantly being bombarded with video clips of an upsettingly handsome chain smoker who enjoys making dirty jokes and saying the most unserious things imaginable while also being the most cutieful cutie patootie at every opportunity.
By the end of Tuesday, I have seen him explaining how to achieve a particular pose (in case the audience would like to recreate it for their loved ones or family for the Christmas photo), and I have seen the scene of Ilya and Shane sharing a very sweet kiss on the stairs.
And I have decided that I am waking up at 5 am on Saturday morning to watch Heated Rivalry.
I need to see the pose Hudson is teaching the youth how to recreate for research purposes, and I have to find out what’s going down in that cottage.
I haven’t watched more than one movie in two years, and I haven’t started watching a new show that wasn’t an anime in maybe longer than that. But the stair kiss has had me blushing and giggling and feeling lightheaded as butterflies attacked my stomach all day – and I have been giggling at Hudson videos for long enough to know that he’s a very big problem that I am not going to be able to get rid of any time soon, and he is not going to leave my list of favorite celebrities at any point in the near future.
(Mind you, I can’t remember the last time an actor made that list, and usually, I have to see someone twenty different times over the course of a year before I even think about considering the fact that maybe I like them. But okay, Hudson Williams. Alright, man.)
I spend the week feeling giddy with excitement, counting down the days until Saturday comes so I can finally watch the show, and then…
Monday, January 19th, 2026.
I am perplexed as I follow Hudson Williams Updates on Twitter and turn on Hudson’s Instagram post notifications.
I haven’t followed a celebrity update account in years. I have nobody’s post notifications on except Beyonce’s, BTS’s, Megan Thee Stallion’s, and Harry Styles’ – my favorite people of all time.
My skin itches as I load the Heated Rivalry book up in GoodNotes and purchase the audiobook to listen to alongside it – but I get sidetracked before I can start reading it because I find out about Ember and Ice.
I have to spend my next two free hours searching for a free trial so I can listen to it before giving up and finding it for free on TikTok instead.
Before I can listen to it, I get sidetracked again, this time by a twenty-minute video of Hudson’s skincare routine.
I don’t watch 20-minute TikTok videos (except those “let’s pack a six scoop order” videos that fill my FYP), and I haven’t done any serious skincare in years because I suck. So I’m only going to watch a minute or so of the video, just out of curiosity.
Later in the day, after my third time rewatching the video in full – not in the 1.75x speed I usually watch everything in, but instead, in regular speed since I don’t want to suffer from Hudson’s face being off my screen a moment before I absolutely must – I’ve pulled out all my old skincare items, visited Amazon to find some new ones (his recommendations, of course), and opened up Canva to make a skincare routine graphic that I can always refer to whenever I need to remember which day I should be using my glycolic-acid-based products versus which day I should be using my salicylic-acid-based products.
After creating the graphic, I have to review my budget in my Notion Finance Tracking Page. I’ve been doing a good job of not making impulse purchases lately. Aside from the impromptu purchase of the audiobook, of course, but that was just $4, so it’s fine.
And technically, the Hollander and Rozanov jerseys I’ve seen and decided I need are fine, too. They’re $45 each, but only $87 if I buy both together, as God intended. So, that’s a steal.
My skin itches again as I flip through the TV, in an attempt to distract myself. I land on the hockey channel, if it’s even called that. In the past, I’ve only ever watched hockey for sixty seconds at a time before getting bored and turning to something else. The sight of the ice always catches my eye, but when the men don’t start doing twirls and jumps, I tend to get out of it.
Yet this time…
It’s two and a half hours later, and the hockey game is just going off. I open Twitter for the sixth time within the last hour to like more Hudson pictures. Another attempt at distracting myself, though my eyes continue to drift toward my iPad, which I had used to watch Heated Rivalry for the first time two days ago.
The urge to rewatch the show is strong, but I’ve never felt such a need to rewatch a show after first watching it before. It’s only been two days. Shouldn’t I be able to go a full three days without rewatching it?
I am saved only by a new post from Hudson Williams Updates – another cinematic-looking picture of him smoking in the streets of Milan (which my close, personal buddy Hudson later revealed is illegal!)
I like the picture and twenty others before closing Twitter again. Picking my iPad up. Putting it back down. Returning to the cart where the two hockey jerseys now sit, waiting…
My thumb twitches where it hovers over the checkout button before I close my phone, toss it across the bed, and throw my head in my hands.